Suppose that I can live up to 80, then I have gone through almost half of my life.
To tell the truth, I am refusing to grow up in my heart.

Let’s say if I’m favoured by Parcae enough

that she gave me a 80-year stopwatch,

at this very present moment I have thus far peregrinated over almost half of my 29,220 days and nights.

Although I don’t want,

thanks to Galileo or Newton or gravity or whatever, perennial backache is becoming more and more recurrent;

Also, forsooth, my memory is a leaking hourglass that its crack is getting larger and larger.

It shows signs of that I ought to stomach my ageing truth.


When I was an adolescent I wanted on all occasions to grow up forthwith.

That was because,

besides getting rid of vexatious exams,

I thought I could also enjoy freedom and I could live whatever life I fancied…


But hold on…

Am I free now?

Am I liberated now?


We would encounter different people and occurrences

in inconsistent phases of life,

in most circumstances our planned scenarios are being overturned by changes.


I feel so helpless and incapable, alas, this is an inevitable fact woefully.


In the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Benjamin got younger corporeal appearance as he actually grew older. At the time when he died in a natural manner, he just looked like an infant.


I took great pleasure in this movie as I loved its concept:

I can do what a teenager does even I am actually in my 70s.


In other words, I can be forever youthful that my inner state constantly appears to be pure and innocent.


It sounds so cool, huh?

Sometimes I am feeling envy.

After 20 years of Pokemon training Ash still looks like 10 with his Pikachu in the current latest episodes.

Not to mention the 47-year-old Nobita is still being late to school and asking for help from Doraemon, yes – right in the episodes from this season.


Does it implicate that,

My subconsciousness is actually disapproving to grow up?


Refusing to grow up, as the world of adults is in actual fact

not that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious;

Refusing to grow up, as the world of adults keeps adding burden on our lives, disallowing us to be courageous;

Refusing to grow up, as the world of adults is a soul-destroying journey that we all find it tedious;


I am neither Benjamin Button nor Ash,

I can only go to the playground occasionally,

to come up with some thoughts of the children’s world.


Victor Tai | Freedom is a Right

  • CameraLOMO LC-A
    Kodak Ektar
  • LocationSingapore
  • Other Language繁体中文

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